


Stuck In Reverse

by Aokai



Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, F/M, Happy Ending, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 23:50:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17755874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aokai/pseuds/Aokai
Summary: Talirah was just a smuggler. Now she is at the head of one of the most important Alliances in the history of the galaxy. And she doesn't know how to deal with it.





	Stuck In Reverse

She woke with a start, sweat beading on her forehead, fingers gripping the blaster hidden underneath the pillow.While her eyes were open, her mind was still stuck in the last remnants of her nightmare. Her arm lashed out to turn on the light. Covers. Closet. Desk. No throne, no dead Emperor, no droid army. She released a sigh and debated closing her eyes again. What good was it? There was no going back to sleep anymore.

Next to her, Theron was still deep in sleep. For an SIS agent, he wasn’t very alert. For a second, she thought about waking him up. She quickly squashed those fantasies. She didn’t want to bother anyone with this.

She silently got out of bed, put on her armour and turned off the light before leaving the room.

The middle of the night was one of the rare times the Alliance headquarters were empty. A couple of Imperial and Republic soldiers on shift saluted her as she walked towards the hangar. She could only answer with a meek wave.

The sound of her boots on the walkway resonated throughout the compound. A raised finger pressing a button, some mechanical whirring, doors sliding open in tandem.

She stepped into the elevator and slowly descended into the Odessen night air. The walkway leading to her spaceship stretched out in front of her. With each step, a grating sound pierced through the night amongst the cries of the planet’s nocturnal beasts.

Once she stepped foot on land again, she sat down at the edge of the cliff surrounding her freighter. Two of the moons of Odessen were high up in the night sky, providing Talirah with enough light to see the outline of the compound in the obscurity.

How did she end up here? How was she leading a rebel alliance to defeat a megalomaniac emperor who had taken up residence in her mind and his bloodthirsty offspring?

She remembered a time when she was travelling the galaxy, illegal goods in her cargo bay, trying to evade Republic and Imperial patrols alike. A time where she was alone in her vast ship and had felt okay with it. Then a time where she had a family, an assortment of flashy and clashing personalities. Now she was alone again. She wasn’t okay with it anymore.

She didn’t belong here. A part of this alliance. Commanding the Alliance. She was just a foul-mouthed spacer trying to make a few credits in an unforgiving, ever at war galaxy.

Her breaths came faster and faster, shorter and shorter. Spots started filling her vision, obscuring the Odessen moons and the stars. Cold enveloped her, making her fingers numb, the feeling creeping up her arms towards her core.

She felt a ball rise up in her throat, blocking her airways. This was it. This was how she was going to die. No heroic battle, no paying back Zakuul for the mess they created in the galaxy. No more.

This was not the death of the famous Alliance Commander. This was the death of Talirah, smuggler and outlaw whose life took a wrong turn on the space lane.

Warmth encircled her shoulders from behind and if she was not already so overwhelmed, a feeling of dread would have overtaken her and her self-defense reflexes would have seized over.

Instead, the smell of sweat, nerf leather and blaster bolts wafted up her nose. A scent she knew and recognized. Almost unconsciously, her shoulders relaxed. The chill in her limbs melted away like the snow at the feet of the Alderaanian mountains.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” A deep but surprisingly soft voice spoken in a whisper echoed through her very being.

She shrugged.

I didn’t think you cared.

I can’t afford to look weak.

You think me to be this perfect person and I didn’t want to disappoint you and show you how flawed I actually am.

He sat down next to her and put his arm around her and somehow she was alright. Somehow she was in the safest place in the galaxy. Everything was going to be fine. Not tonight, not tomorrow, but someday. It would be a long road before things would be alright for good, but she wouldn’t be doing that road alone. And that was what mattered. It didn’t matter if she forgot that Theron was there to help her, he would always be there to remind her.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So I hope you enjoyed. This is the first piece of fiction I've written in years so sorry if it's a bit rubbish, I wrote this when I was feeling down.
> 
> The idea came to me when I realized that the plot of Knights of the Eternal Throne probably makes more sense as a Jedi or Sith and the smuggler really doesn't belong here so how bad must they feel about it? And this popped out.
> 
> Sorry for any grammatical mistake, English isn't my first language.
> 
> Also, the title is from the song Fix You by Coldplay.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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